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Is it possible to forgive and forget?  I’ve heard that you cannot do one without doing the other.  I find that concept hard to digest.  Yeah, I can forgive but no way am I able to forget.  I think the key is in the power of the memory.



Will you allow the power of your hurt to consume you to the point of it being in the forefront of your everyday thoughts?  If that is the case, then you have not truly forgiven.  I personally don’t think that you should forget, but you should move on.  Every hurt that you endure will either weaken or strengthen your character.  It’s totally up to you.  Haven’t you heard the expression that as long as you hold hurt in your heart that you are giving the other person the power over you?  Well if you’re anything like me, I have to be in control of as much as I’m capable of.  I also believe that your feelings for the person that hurt you affect your ability to forgive.

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Someone asked me, “How is it that two people have hurt me and I can forgive one and not the other?”  I told them that part of the reason for their forgiveness or lack of was a result of their feelings for the person who hurt them.  I was told that the art of love is, the supply of forever forgiveness – sounds beautiful, don’t it?  Yeah, well, I also believe that your love for someone can interfere with forgiveness.  It all depends on what that person has done to hurt you.  But in the end it all boils down to forgive and move on and it really doesn’t matter what that person has done.  The objective is to regain the power of control and the best way to do that is with forgiveness.  I’m not going to lie to you; I haven’t forgiven all that I should.  What can I say; I’m a work in progress.


What about you?  Do you think that you can forgive and move on?


  1. There has been one particular person in the past who really messed me up, did some things to me personally and professionally that at the time I considered unforgiveable. But time has passed, and I have come to realize that this individual was and is damaged, and needs to hurt other people to make himself feel important. It has nothing to do with me; it’s just his way. I need to forgive him and more importantly, forgive myself for allowing myself to believe that the way he was treating me was okay.

    1. Hillary, you are already on the road to possessing a positive mindset. You now know that whatever was going on with him was about him and you hold no blame at all. Good for you!!!

  2. I think this website says a lot and means a lot. I have a hard time forgiving and forgetting. I try everyday to forgive someone who has done me wrong, but it is very hard for me.

    Your blog post on forgiving and forgetting was inspiring. I needed that. I think I can learn how to forgive someone in due time.

    1. I’m really glad my blog post reached you at a time of need. Always remember, what is meant for you will come to you and so will forgiveness. Thanks for stopping by and please take a look at the blog post on my site.

  3. I find it hard to forgive and move on, and I think the majority of people these days have the same issue. I think that if we claim to forgive and keep hanging on to that negativity then we haven’t really forgiven those who we perceive did us wrong. I think the forgetting part is key since then we truly let go of the negativity.

    1. Good point Ian and I can understand your point of forgetting being a key part to letting go of negativity. Yes, forgive and move on is a shared issue in which a person has to find the method of forgiveness that works best for them. I don’t want to hold on to the memory. I want the memory to hurt less, which is why I need a positive mindset to help me process my hurt to the point of numbness. If I’m numb to the hurt, that is the point of true forgiveness and allows me to move on. Thanks for your insight, it is very appreciated.

  4. I agree with you. Forgiving someone is one thing but I cannot see how you can forget what the person did. That would mean memory loss. We all tend to remember the bad more than the good don’t we? I think the true meaning of forgiving and forgetting is more about putting it behind you and moving on. Don’t dwell on it and let it consume your thoughts and feelings. My father taught me that to err is human, to forgive divine. Do think that is true?

    1. Oh Margaret, I definitely think that is true. Dwelling on hurt can be toxic to the mind, body and soul. It cuts in on one’s quality of life and I want to fill my life with peace of mind. Thank you for stopping by.

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